24 Aug Haftime’s New Music Monday. With No Haftime
Haftime usually schools me to what’s new and hot in music.
But she has like, a life, or something. Had no time for me today.
So I’m sitting here this morning, bumping the same song on repeat that I’ve been listening to all weekend.
I know Haftime wouldn’t approve. But this is MY new music monday since she left me stranded.
Check out the conversation I had with myself about this new song I’m LOVING.
ALIYA: So, have you head Whitney’s new song!!
ASK: Which one? That whack Dianne Warren ballad? Blech! Two thumbs down. Hated it!
ALIYA: No! Not “I didn’t Know My Own Strength.”
ASK: I hate that song. Her voice sounds as weak as the premise. You didn’t know your own strength for what exactly? How NOT to reach the right notes? How NOT to sound like you dragged on a Newport before you hit the studio?
ALIYA: Calm down, ASK. That’s not the song I’m talking about. It’s a new one.
ASK: That other insufferable ballad? I Turn To You or I Look To You or some such nonsense. HATE IT. Boring. Gag me. Deliver me. iCan’t. (Shout to Luvvie.)
ALIYA: God you’re annoying. I’m not talking about that one either. If you would shut up for just one sec–
ASK: See what you don’t understand is, I love Whitney. She was born and raised in East Orange, just like me. My next door neighbor, Mrs. Harris–
ALIYA: …was her first grade teacher. I know.
ASK: Exactly. And my nephew attends the….
ALIYA: …Whitney Houston Academy in East Orange. I know. That must have been weird for the kids.
ASK: What do you mean?
ALIYA: You know, how does it feel to go to a school named after someone who is photographed walking to the gas station in a ratty mink coat buying cigarettes in the middle of the night?
ASK: Why would you post that picture on my blog!?
ALIYA: It’s my blog too.
ASK: I’m deleting that before I hit Publish.
ALIYA: I’ll go back in and put it back.
ASK: I hate you.
ALIYA: You won’t hate me when you listen to Whitney’s new song. This guy B. Scott has it on his blog. Click HERE and check it out.
ASK: Oh my god. This opening chord. I’m feeling like I’m at the Zanzibar in 1988. (Not that I was ever allowed to go to the Zanzibar. But if we were…this is what it would feel like. I assume). Anyway! Her voice is pristine! This sounds a little like disco.
ALIYA: You like?
ASK: I LOVE. LOVE. LOVE.
ALIYA: Told you.
ASK: Love the call and response chorus! Love the mellow groove. Oh my god, Whitney is really back. *wipes tear*
ALIYA: I hear Swizz and Alicia are behind this.
ASK: Word?! Too cute!!
ALIYA: It fits Whitney. Not trying too hard to be down with the cool kids. It’s totally in her lane.
ASK: Totally!! Love the breakdown with the handclaps. I can’t stop dancing!
ALIYA: Isn’t it awesome? Did I do good?
ASK: Good? You did great!!!
ALIYA: Better than Haftime?
ASK: Let’s not get carried away. I would have heard this song eventually. Haftime puts me on to the edgy avant garde stuff that me and you never get around to checking out because we’re old.
ALIYA: True. Well, glad I could pitch in for Haftime today.
ASK: Me too. I LOVE THIS SONG.
ALIYA: I hear you have edits due back on your novel in like, a week. Think you might want to get to work on that?
ASK: I was hoping you could take care of that for me.
ALIYA: I’ll help you.
ASK: Thanks girl.
Dear readers: Have you heard Whitney’s new song? DO YOU NOT LOVE IT!!! Okay, if you don’t love it, I’m not your friend. Anymore ever. This song makes me feel really happy. But I’m biased. I’m from East Orange and I rep hard for Nippy. Her brother and I went to the same high school, (10 years apart. but whatever). I know her peoples. Stand up Jersey!
What do you think?
I’d love to hear from you!